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The Curious Tale of Mr and Ms Snotty, the Little Sidewalk Chalker, her Father, the Police, City Council and the Public

Please read a heavily bias and pretty offensive truth I’ve written out for you followed by a very serious question, here goes -

Anywhere: The Curious Tale of Mr and Ms Snotty, the Little Sidewalk Chalker, her Father, the Police, City Council and the Public

One day, a little girl is out sidewalk chalking when a snotty neighbor decided he doesn’t like it, and like all snotty people, they deflect to the police, all of their non-emergency issues – Here’s how it goes

2 scenarios,

Scenario 1 | the caller gets told by 911 to “get a life” then 911 hangs up, so Mr Snotty goes out and yells at the little girl for making a mess of his sidewalk …the girls father comes out and busts his lip for yelling at his daughter (it’s on now) The father then gets arrested for assault and battery while the snotty neighbor grandstands on the news and talks about how he was hung up on by 911 then attacked by a menace who’s daughter was obstructing a public sidewalk, (because clearly sidewalk chalk is a public safety issue *rolls eyes) The whole situation becomes a god damn tragedy brought on by the snotty drama queen of a neighbor who has no people skills and thinks it’s somehow horrible that a kid sidewalk chalks on “his” sidewalk.

Scenario 2 | The caller calls and complains about the little girl, and 911 says fine, and sends a cop that, says hello to the little girl and goes on to find the father. The cop finds him and says they got a complaint about graffiti and tells the father to please tell the little girl to stop .. to keep the peace. The father gets upset “Are you serious, what is it illegal or something” and the cop just kind of bows his head and calmly explains that he has to tell him this etc etc …now the police are Nazis, and Mr snotty gets to remain anonymous, and looks on happily from his window, taking some pleasure from watching the scenario unfold.

Ok so, who is wrong in this situation? Does the snotty person deserve a busted lip, should the cops be labeled as Nazis, what do we do here?

On the one hand, if 911 does nothing, laughs and tells Mr snotty to get a life (which is what they want to say), there will most likely be a fight; Mr snotty may say well hey, I’ll show them, and go out and yell at kids ..and Mr snotty may get hit for thinking he can yell at kids… then the little girls father gets arrested, (jail time?) and maybe the whole family falls apart because the father ends up in jail and the family goes homeless because, he was the breadwinner, Mr snotty effectively destroys the family. Maybe the father comes back in vengeance and really f*cks him up later on down the road, or worse ..it happens.

Sending a cop to begin with can be an attempt to deescalate things before they get worse, look at as prevention, not because the little girl is wrong, or because the father is wrong ( I would probably bust Mr snotty for yelling at my girl if words didn’t work) On the other hand, seeing the police do something like tell a family that their daughter cannot sidewalk chalk is almost an infringement on freedom itself.. or so it seems. Things like this can even snowball, maybe the police chief goes to the city council and says hey look, we don’t want to be telling people their kids can’t chalk, can you just make a city ordinance that bans it because this is kind of f*cked up, at least this way we can just say “it’s the law” ..”it’s our job” .. the city now bans chalking and says ok, done, now you guys (the cops) won’t look like jerks because “it’s the law” and no Mr Snotty will get hit by Mr Father, it’s a win win, case closed..

but now the city residents are in uproar that their little girls or boys can’t sidewalk chalk (rightfully so) -

what can we do?

..remember, all the Mr Snottys or misses Snottys get to remain anonymous (or grandstand on tv) and just watch on from their windows giggling happily at their perfectly manicured street, hey maybe all the bums with kids will move out so property value goes up and the legacy of being snotty can continue on.


I know, it was a horrible story, I’m not a writer, lets look at all the players in this story..

The police: Just trying prevent drama. Thinks and says, (Insert fonzie voice) “Heeeey Mr C we got a call” (scratches neck kinda looks the other way) ..then explains the situation to the father.

City Council: Sitting waiting at some ridiculously big desk to make ordinances that help everyone get along. Thinks, how do we make this a win win.

The little girls father: Thinks, hey look at my kids artwork :)

The little girl: Thinks, hey daddy look at my picture.

The public: Thinks, hey what the hell is happening to our freedom, god damn cops. (maybe they amass in large groups and go out at midnight and sidewalk chalk an entire street in anger while police say “OMG” Maybe things get out of hand, and the police lose, the sidewalk chalkers lose, the father and his little girl lose, city council loses, hell, even the 1% lose. ..but Mr and ms Snotty win. So who’s really messing things up -

Mr and Ms Snotty: Thinks, god damn kids, isn’t this a public safety concern, I’m calling the police, look what she did to the sidewalk, I don’t want my poodle tracking that chalk into the house.

So.. Now that you’ve heard the truth, or my heavily bias horribly written version of what is exactly the truth in my opinion, we need

Solutions, but lets ask the question first, are snotty people messing up our cities, think one step further even, are they screwing up our nation, or am I just a bias jerk?

Please Note: This entire story is a work of fiction, and definitely does not resemble any actual scenarios in real life *LOL’s


In the end of this story, the government is the enemy of freedom, police are Nazis, the public is a bunch of bongo beating hippies, the little girl is a public safety concern, the father is a violent menace, and Mr and Mrs’ snotty are anonymously enjoying it all.. unscathed and unaffected by the ensuing drama

I’d like to pose a second question, who else is the 1% controlling things from a distance..?

4 thoughts on “The Curious Tale of Mr and Ms Snotty, the Little Sidewalk Chalker, her Father, the Police, City Council and the Public

  1. When I was a child in the 60s, Mrs. Snotty lived in the corner house on my street. She was old and cranky and detailed the grass in her yard with scissors, I kid you not.

    Back in the day it all stayed in the neighborhood. If we touched her grass, she came out and yelled. If our ball rolled onto her yard, she darted out of the house to snatch it. She would then put it on display behind the glass of her garage window to taunt us. Our parents told us to just stay away from her, to not go in her yard. So we stayed away. Other than the occasional lost ball that was the end of it.

    Skip forward 40 years and I have lived TWICE next to people who called the police on me any time my dog made a sound. (I know people are biased, but the dog wasn’t a big barker. He only barked when there was good reason.) One of these neighbors was convinced that the lonely dog on the other side of the fence barking was my dog. So, I had the poor police at my door whenever ANY dog barked. It boggled my mind that these people NEVER talked to me about it. Instead of being a neighbor and finding out that the dog barked for 10 minutes because a confused drunk guy was trying to get into my front door. Oh no… they call the city right away… first option on their list. The officers got tired of it, I was certainly tired of it. The only person who never tired of the ‘game’ was the Snotty family.

    What’s up with Mr. & Mrs. Snotty running straight off to the police these days? What happened to community where people communicate these little annoyances and work them out amongst each other? Where did community go? What happened to it? Is this a symptom of our transient lifestyles? Does it have anything to do with the fact that most people come home from work to spend their evening in front of television, rarely interacting with the neighborhood in which they reside? I don’t know.

    • Guns. Guns happened. People are less likely to deal with their neighbors because sometimes neighbors have guns, and occasionally, nowadays, those neighbors settle petty disputes with a bullet than a conversation.

      Is it worth getting shot over? If not, call the cops, let them handle it.

  2. I agree with pfluff. Neighborhoods aren’t filled with neighbors anymore. I do think it has to do with rear-entry, attached garage, sit on your butt, watch TV routines we have these days to an extent. Problems like this should be handled civilly between neighbors. But, if the first time you talk to you neighbor is when they have offended you, it won’t go well. Get out there and meet your neighbors when you can have something nice to talk about. Or bite you tongue when you are feeling wronged and wait until you can approach them with a positive conversation. A neighbor that already thinks of you as the nice person that lives down the street is a in a much better position to listen to you when you ask them to tell their kids not to cut through your yard.

    But, keep in mind, the atomization of the individual is no accident. Nor is it the natural state of social animals. Our current lifestyle is a carefully engineered experience to strip us of our power to associate, form human connections, and challenge corporate and government authority. The corporations want you tired at the end of your work day. They want distractions from production and consumption kept to a minimum. The only “mass” movements they want are the ones built around their brands, organized for the purpose of consumption.

    Have you ever noticed that eating at home died when the corporations started to tell us to socialize with our friends over a meal at their chain restaurant? Shopping and hanging out at the mall became the favorite “outdoor” activity of our kids. Go see a movie together, play basketball in our jerseys and wearing our sneakers, Amusement park outings, bowl together, go to an NFL, NBA, NHL game or to the track for NASCAR. Gather around your big screen TV watching ESPN with your friends.

    But, do not sit in a circle around a fire outside with them and talk. Do not discuss non-branded experiences, Don’t participate in a rally, protest, enjoy independent artists performing on the street corner, or play in a public fountain. Go to work, work hard 5 days a week, never stray very far from home, leave work and grab some drive through, go home, enter through the garage in the back, keep the blinds down and AC on, watch TV, go to sleep, wake up tomorrow to an alarm clock and do it again. Keep doing it because you work in a wage labor system. Keep doing it because your wage does not keep up with the living needs and artificial wants marketed to you. Keep doing it because you are in debt to the wants (and sometimes the needs) and must work. Keep doing it because at-will employment (devilishly called right to work in some states) means that any moment at work may be your last, for no cause at all. Keep doing it because you have to pay huge sums to put your kids through an industry-panel driven college so that they can be trained (not educated) to function in the same trap you are in. Keep feeding your kids to this machine because, you don’t have time to do anything else. Keep working because (even with your health insurance, if you are lucky enough to have it) a single hospitalization, car accident, slip on the ice could bankrupt you. Keep doing it because you are a serf. And don’t talk to your neighbors about this.

  3. How about another solution? Isn’t there a way the person who answers at 911 could explain to the caller that sidewalk chalking isn’t a crime, that the sidewalk is public, and that he needs to respect the rights of his neighbors to enjoy public space?

    Or what if 911 does send over a police officer. When they see the “nuisance” and determine there is nothing dangerous going on, couldn’t they just leave the family alone?

    in short- must we bow to Mr. Snotty?

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